Sunday, October 29, 2017

Halloween House Rules

It's almost Halloween!  In a couple days, there will be ghosts, goblins, princesses, and superheroes at my door trick-or-treating.  Over the years, I've come up with a few house rules for the neighborhood folks that will be coming through on Halloween night.  Thought I'd share them with you.

Halloween 2015.  My kids dressed up as Ice Cube and Doc McStuffins.  

1.  Kids with cute or clever costumes, big smiles, puppy dog eyes, and who say "thank you" get more candy.

2.  I'm a sucker for a baby in a Halloween costume.  Cuteness overload!!!

My kids on their first Halloweens ... Randal (2004) and Sydney (2013).


3.  I give out candy from 6 to 8pm.  At 8, the porch light goes off.  Ring my doorbell after 8pm, and you'll be standing on my porch until next Halloween waiting for candy.

4.  Hands off my candy bowl!!!  Don't go trying to look in my bowl and ask for your favorites.  You get what you get.  How does that saying go?  Beggars can't be choosy.

5.  Don't scare the lady who gives you FREE candy.  I don't do surprises.  And for the parents standing around watching the scaring, don't be mad if an expletive slips.  I'm just saying ...

6.  This is Halloween.  NO SOLICITORS!!!  I've had a few people try this on Halloween over the years.  Whatever it is you're selling, I ain't buying it.  And if you don't leave my porch when asked, the next thing you will be talking to is the door that's been closed in your face.

7.  Teenagers with no costumes, who use plastic shopping bags to collect Halloween candy, and act like it pains them to muster up an audible sentence (or Heaven forbid a "thank you") get no candy and plenty of side eyes.



8.  DO NOT SHOW UP AT MY HOUSE IN BLACK FACE.  Seriously.  Don't do it.  It's 2017.  Do I really have to explain why not?

Happy Halloween, y'all!  Be safe out there, and have fun.


Halloween 2016.  The kids dressed as Beelzebub and Princess Tiana.


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