A Year End Review of 2017

2017 will be in the history books in just a couple days, and what a CRAZY year this has been.  I'll attempt to recap the things that stick out in my memory that went down this year.

1.  Donald &$%*#@^ Trump.  2017 started with Beelzebub's inauguration, and the rest has been downhill from there.  In fact, there is simply too much stuff to write about his first year in office.  Anybody else feeling fatigued and wondering how the hell we are gonna live through three more years of his foolishness?  I swear ... watching the news is more like watching a bad soap opera or reality TV show.  Just when I think things can't get any crazier or he can't top the last 'WTF thing' he just did / said / tweeted, more foolishness ensues.

How I feel watching the news now that Beelzebub is in the White House.

2.  The Superbowl.  Atlanta vs New England.  Why, Jesus?  WHY?!?!?!?  I am a New England Patriots hater, and I just knew at halftime Atlanta was gonna win the game.  I was sick!

3.  2017's Oscars was the BLACKEST ever!!!!! 

 

There were Black actors nominated in every major acting category for the first time in history.  Viola Davis won best supporting actress for her role in "Fences", and Mahershala Ali won best supporting actor for "Moonlight" and became the first Muslim to win an Oscar.  Denzel was straight robbed for best actor for "Fences".  Ezra Edelman won best documentary for "OJ, Made in America".  "Moonlight" won best screenplay and best picture ... even after they tried to give the Oscar for best picture to "La La Land".

4.  Carolyn Bryant.  Who is that, you ask?  She's the woman who accused Emmett Till of whistling at her.  In a book that was published earlier this year, she admitted she lied.  SHE LIED.  I think all of us knew deep down whatever story she told her husband and brother-in-law wasn't true, but for her to admit that her lie led to the brutal death of a 14 year-old boy some 60+ years after the fact just added insult to injury.  I know many years have passed, but I hope she faces some kind of legal prosecution for her role in Till's death.  She needs to pay.  Period.  She needs to pay.

5.  And speaking of justice, Philando Castile's family didn't get any when the cop who killed him was acquitted of his murder.  There was video, and he was still set free.  Terence Crutcher's family didn't see justice when the cop who killed him was set free.  And to rub salt in an already deep wound, the cop who killed Crutcher is back at work ... as a sheriff's deputy.  Now that's some bull*&^.

6.  But ... Michael Slager is going to jail for 20 years for killing Walter Scott.  While Slager's sentence is a rare victory in the countless cases of cops killing unarmed Black men, I'm still feeling some kind of way about the length of time of his federal prison sentence.  He shot Walter Scott eight times in the back, attempted to plant evidence at the scene, and lied about what happened.  20 years just doesn't seem long enough.  But thank God for the video that proved Slager was guilty of murder.

7.  The Charlottesville rally.  On a Friday evening in August, white men from all over the country converged on Charlottesville, VA.  They were dressed in polo shirts and khakis, carrying lit tiki torches, and had a march to protest the removal on a confederate statue.  The next day, they marched again but were met by counter-protesters.  Before the weekend was over, a young lady named Heather Heyer who was there as a counter protester lost her life when she was run over by a white supremacist who drove a car through a crowd of folks.  DeAndre Harris, a Black man from Charlottesville, was beaten by a group of white supremacists in the parking garage of a police station.  The photos of Harris' beating were eerily reminiscent of photos from the civil rights era.

Charlottesville 2017



1957

Beelzebub refused to call out the organizers of the march for inciting a hate rally / riot.  Instead, he called them "very fine people".  I guess he couldn't take the chance of upsetting the folks who put him in office in the first place.  Insert eye roll HERE.

8.  2017 was Serena Williams' year, wasn't it?  She started the year off getting engaged.  She won her 23rd grand slam title at the Australian Open ... while pregnant.  She later gives birth to an adorable baby girl, gets married, and then has the largest building on Nike's campus named after her.  Can my 2018 be like her 2017?  Serena got that Midas touch.

9.  Puerto Rico was hit hard by Hurricanes Irma and Maria.  But instead of getting aid to the folks there, Beelzebub was too busy trying to pick fights with players of the NFL for not standing for the national anthem.  It's almost 2018, and half of Puerto Rico is still without power.  Damn shame. 

10.  The silent protests that started in the 2016 season with Colin Kaepernick continued into the 2017 season.  Beelzebub started off the season calling kneeling players "sons of bitches" and stated owners should fire them for not standing for the anthem.   Colin Kaepernick became a free agent after the 2016 season, and no NFL team has added him to their rosters.  Instead, they brought players out of retirement to avoid offering Kaepernick a spot on any team.  A couple weeks ago, the Carolina Panthers owner announced he would put the team up for sale amid allegations of sexual and racial discrimination.  Sean "Diddy" Combs threw in his name for ownership talks to buy the Panthers, and Steph Curry and Colin Kaepernick announced they wanted in, too.  I am sooooo rooting for this to happen.  It could be a long shot, as it appears the NFL team owners group is nothing but a good ol' boys club (read - rich old White men).  The owners plotted to keep Kaepernick out of the league?  No problem.  How about he has part ownership of a team?  They should rename the team the Carolina Black Panthers.  (Lol.  I'm kidding ... kinda.)

11.  American soldiers were ambushed in an attack in Niger.  Four American soldiers were killed in that ambush.  Among the four was Sgt. LaDavid Johnson.

There are just so many unanswered questions surrounding the circumstances of the attack and the events leading up to Sgt. Johnson's death.  His remains were found days after the attack, as it appears he was separated from his unit.  More of his remains were found weeks after his death and burial.  The military wouldn't allow his widow and family to view his body upon return to the United States.  What happened, and why isn't there a formal investigation into what happened in Niger?

12.  Britain's Prince Harry has become engaged to American actress Meghan Markle.  Britain is about to get a sistah princess, y'all!!! 

I've never really been caught up in the British royal family, but I can not wait and will be watching this wedding intently in May 2018.  Megan's mama has locs.  LOCS, y'all!!!!  As a fellow loc'd sistah, I am dying to see how Meghan's mama will wear her hair to the wedding.  Will they do the electric slide at the wedding?  Will there be a soul train line?

13.  2017 saw a lot of men getting fired or resigning from their jobs because of sexual misconduct and assault.  Harvey Weinstein.  Kevin Spacey.  Al Franken.  John Conyers.  Russell Simmons.  Tavis Smiley.  Matt Lauer.  Charlie Rose.  There were many others, too.  But even with the "me, too" movement in full effect and men getting outed for their sexual assault on women, Roy Moore in Alabama still ran for the Senate, and Beelzebub is still in the White House.

14.  And speaking of the Alabama senate race, accused pedophile Roy Moore LOST the special Senate election to Doug Jones, the prosecutor of the killers of the four little girls in the 1963 church bombing at the 16th Street Baptist Church.  While still an overwhelming number of white folks voted for Moore (accused pedophile and the man who said America was at its greatest during the times of slavery), Black folks turned out to vote and put Doug Jones in office.  98% of Black women and 93% of Black men voted for Doug Jones.  (I just wonder what the hell is up with the remaining 2% and 7% of y'all, but I digress.)  We should learn a few things from the Alabama senate race.  One ... if Black folks get out and vote, our candidates will win.  Two ... the Democratic party needs to make the time and spend the money on the folks that are their most loyal and supportive voters.  PERIOD.  Black folks put Doug Jones in office, and it's way past time for the party officials to recognize this and the power of the Black vote.  And three ... we need to be ready for the GOP's renewed efforts to suppress the Black vote.  2018 will bring mid-term elections, and the Republicans have the most to lose.  They ain't going out without a fight.  Believe that.

15.  Erica Garner has passed away.  Erica, the daughter of Eric Garner, an unarmed Black man choked to death on video by the NYPD, suffered a massive heart attack before Christmas and did not recover. She was not even 30 yet.  She has 2 children.  She was forced into activism after the death of her father.  My heart breaks for her and her family.  You can't help but wonder and get angry about the toll racism and injustice affected her young life so unnecessarily.

 

 

16. Celebrity deaths.  We lost some greats this year.  Al Jarreau.  Chuck Berry.  Charlie Murphy.  Dick Gregory.  Robert Guillaume.  Fats Domino.  Della Reese.  Earl Hyman.  Their greatness will forever live in our hearts and memories.  May they all rest in power.

2018 is on the horizon.  It will be interesting to see what this new year will bring. 

Happy New Year to you all!!!

Things I Wonder About - Part 2

I didn't realize it had been so long, but a little over two years ago, I wrote a blog about things I wonder about (http://40somethingsistah.blogspot.com/2015/08/things-i-wonder-about.html).  I've been wondering about some new things recently.

... and just like last time, let's just get right to it.  No need for a fancy intro.

1.   Why do people pay more money to see a movie at a different time of day?  I have NEVER understood that.  I only do matinees.  It’s the same damn movie.  Why would I pay more to see it at night when I can save money seeing it earlier in the day?  Why?  The only time you catch me at the movies at night is at the $1.50 theater.

Wait.  Do they still have those?  Come to think of it, I haven’t seen a $1.50 theater in a while.

2.  Why do people eat unhealthy foods and then wash it down with a diet soda?  You’ve just consumed a fatty, greasy burger and a plate of fries, but you worry about the calories in your drink?  Does that zero calorie soda cancel out the tens of thousands of calories from the burger and fries? 

3.  I wonder this about myself.  I love the smell and flavor of coconut, but I hate actual coconut.  It’s a texture thing for me.  I can drink and enjoy a pina colada, but I will throw a piece of coconut cake in the trash.  The texture of coconut is combination of pasty, gritty, and gummy to me.  But here’s the kicker.  You put some Girl Scout cookies (those caramel delights, samoas, or whatever they’re called) in front of me, and I will straight eat the whole dang box.  The entire box.  I just can’t figure that one out.

4.  Why do some families fall apart at the seams when loved ones pass away?  Was Mama / Daddy / Granddaddy / Big Mama really the glue that held the family together?    

5.  Why is it that people with the nastiest attitudes always seem to work in customer service?  Do companies do screenings or practice calls / scenarios before they hire these folks? 

6.  Black Trump supporters?!?!?!?  What?  THE?  Hell?  Beelzebub, one of the many names I have for Trump, has NEVER done anything for Black folks, so how can they ride for him?  All Black Trump supporters have been officially relieved of their duties.  Their Black cards are hereby permanently revoked, they are banned from all cookouts, and they are eligible for trade in the racial draft.  

7. Why does congress keep offering up “thoughts and prayers” when there’s a mass gun shooting in the United States instead of offering up effective gun control legislation so the shootings can end?  Apparently, the thoughts and prayers ain’t working, so it’s time to DO SOMETHING.

8.  Why is it when a Black woman voices her opinion or concern about something, she’s “angry” instead of “assertive”?  Becky can debate and belabor an issue until the cows come home and she’s considered “passionate”, but let Shaniqua express her opinion.  She gets labelled as combative.

9.  I don’t know about you, but I wonder about “Christians” sometimes.  The Alabama senate candidate that’s been accused of molesting teenaged girls over several years has the support of 53 pastors.  FIFTY-THREE pastors … of churches that people go to weekly to hear a word from God and to be spiritually fed.  

It just makes me wonder.  What Bible are these “pastors” reading and studying from?  What God are these pastors following where they can openly endorse and support a man who may have molested several teen-aged girls.  My bad.  These must be the same pastors who supported Beelzebub for President.  What was I thinking, right?   [Insert eye roll eye HERE.]

10.  Does anybody know or care who won the Miss Universe pageant when the entire world fell in love with Miss Jamaica, Davina Bennett?  Yes, I know I could Google who the winner was, but Davina Bennett is the real MVP.  Melanin poppin’.  Afro perfection personified.  And when she stepped out on the runway in those yellow dresses looking like a sun-kissed goddess who descended to this earth straight from Heaven’s pearly gates … CHILE!!!!!  Even God had to jump back and kiss himself over this glorious creation.  I need her image immortalized into a doll for my daughter to add to her #blackgirlmagic collection.

The things I wonder about ...

Halloween House Rules

It's almost Halloween!  In a couple days, there will be ghosts, goblins, princesses, and superheroes at my door trick-or-treating.  Over the years, I've come up with a few house rules for the neighborhood folks that will be coming through on Halloween night.  Thought I'd share them with you.

Halloween 2015.  My kids dressed up as Ice Cube and Doc McStuffins.  

1.  Kids with cute or clever costumes, big smiles, puppy dog eyes, and who say "thank you" get more candy.

2.  I'm a sucker for a baby in a Halloween costume.  Cuteness overload!!!

My kids on their first Halloweens ... Randal (2004) and Sydney (2013).

3.  I give out candy from 6 to 8pm.  At 8, the porch light goes off.  Ring my doorbell after 8pm, and you'll be standing on my porch until next Halloween waiting for candy.

4.  Hands off my candy bowl!!!  Don't go trying to look in my bowl and ask for your favorites.  You get what you get.  How does that saying go?  Beggars can't be choosy.

5.  Don't scare the lady who gives you FREE candy.  I don't do surprises.  And for the parents standing around watching the scaring, don't be mad if an expletive slips.  I'm just saying ...

6.  This is Halloween.  NO SOLICITORS!!!  I've had a few people try this on Halloween over the years.  Whatever it is you're selling, I ain't buying it.  And if you don't leave my porch when asked, the next thing you will be talking to is the door that's been closed in your face.

7.  Teenagers with no costumes, who use plastic shopping bags to collect Halloween candy, and act like it pains them to muster up an audible sentence (or Heaven forbid a "thank you") get no candy and plenty of side eyes.

8.  DO NOT SHOW UP AT MY HOUSE IN BLACK FACE.  Seriously.  Don't do it.  It's 2017.  Do I really have to explain why not?

Happy Halloween, y'all!  Be safe out there, and have fun.

Halloween 2016.  The kids dressed as Beelzebub and Princess Tiana.

My Girls' Trip Experience

One of my closest and dearest friends just recently had her 50th birthday.  To celebrate, she put together a girlfriends' trip to Jamaica.  I was fortunate enough to go, and I had an absolute blast.

And to think ... I almost didn't go.  When my friend started planning the trip at the end of last year, I think I tried to come up with every excuse in the book NOT to go.  I knew my husband and I would probably have to purchase another vehicle this year.  And we did because my old reliable car with nearly 400,000 miles on it, Aunt Viv the Volvo, made her transition to that great salvage yard in the sky.  Then, my daughter started a private school this year (translation ... monthly tuition).  My son plays in sports leagues and on travel teams that require all kinds of participation fees.  I told myself that paying for the trip with all the financial responsibilities we had would be irresponsible.  But then my husband was like, "You're going.  Period."

Well, that ended that and dammit, I went.  And lemme tell you something ... I am so glad I had the chance to go, and I'm thankful my husband insisted.  I so needed that vacation.

First and foremost, I got the opportunity to hang out with nine awesome sistahfriends.  

Yo's Fifty Posse

We talked and laughed a lot.  We ate well.  We went on adventures together.  I knew most of the ladies who went on the trip ahead of time, and I was fortunate enough to make new sistahfriends.  It was an empowering experience to be around so many beautiful Black women.  And we did not go unnoticed at our resort, either.  Remember that song by Klymaxx ... "The Men All Pause"?  That is EXACTLY what happened when we walked 10 deep into a room (lol).  Heads turned.  People stared.  See the picture below.  We straight shut ish down on our last night at the resort ... Black and sexy night (lol).

I also got a chance to relax, relate, and release.  It was FANNNNN-tastic and just what I needed.  I got the chance to take naps.  (Yes ... plural!!!!)  I was able to sit out on the beach and let the sun kiss and warm my skin over and over again.  I didn't have to worry about packing school lunches, helping with homework, doing laundry or housework, preparing dinner, or running out the house to get my kids to their destinations on time.  It was great having someone waiting on and catering to me for a change.  I didn't have to make my own bed.  My meals were prepared for me.  It was a nice change of pace, and I went back home feeling refreshed, recharged, and renewed. 

And the pictures I took during the trip were phenomenal!!!  What?!?!?!?  The scenery.  The island and beach selfies.  I couldn't take a bad picture.  I created many wonderful memories and have the pictures to prove it.

I took the best selfies of my entire life in Jamaica!  (lol)

Me with the birthday girl ... and a dear friend.

Sistahfriends

Jamaica is BEAUTIFUL!!!

The obligatory "feet on the beach" photo.  ☺

Why didn't I take a vacation sooner?  As a wife and mother, I feel like I take care of everything and everyone all the time, and I have failed time and time again at giving myself the opportunity to unwind and take care of me.  This girlfriends' trip was just what the doctor ordered.   

7 Ways To Make Work Suck Less

I was thinking the other day that I have been working ever since I graduated from college, and I graduated from college 22 years ago, y’all.  22 YEARS AGO!!!  I’m at that point in my career when I think I’ve come a long way, but then I look ahead and realize that I still have several more years of work before I hit those golden retirement years.

Isn’t it funny how your mid-career and mid-life crisis hit around the same time?  I digress …

I have definitely learned some valuable lessons over these 22 years of working with many different people in many different places.  I’ll share a few with you.

Here are seven ways to make work suck less (lol):

1.  Decorate your space.  Let’s face it.  We’re at work for 8+ hours a day for 5 days a week.  We spend a considerable amount of time at work, so we might as well make ourselves comfortable and at home.  Who wants to stare at blank, drab walls all day?  Decorate your work space.  Bring in pictures of your loved ones.  Brighten your space with a lamp.  Add a plant or flowers to the office or cubicle.  Cover your cubicle walls with contact paper with a bold pattern.  Get creative.  It’s amazing how simple things can lighten your mood.  And let’s be real.  Sometimes you need the pictures of the spouse and kids to remind you of why you are working … to provide them with a good life.  And sometimes you need the pictures as a reminder not to go off the deep end.  Look at those pictures and repeat the things you know you need that paycheck for … mortgage, groceries, daycare, tuition, car payment, vacation, etc (lol).

Cubicle Sweet Cubicle

"Black Girl Magic" Wall

2.  Play some music.  Keep an iPod and a speaker or earbuds at your desk and have a playlist going to get you through the day.  Music is good for the soul.

3.  Take breaks.  This sounds simple enough, but I have lost count of the times that I have been so busy and consumed with work during the day that I don’t realize I didn’t take a break until it’s time to go home.  You need that time to unwind to keep your sanity.  Take a walk around the parking lot or deck.  Get out of the office and go to lunch.  Just get up from your desk and clear your head.  The break will do you some good.

4.  Avoid negativity or your negative coworkers.  That coworker that’s always complaining but never offers any solutions?  Yeah … steer clear of Doug or Debbie Downer.  Don’t get sucked into their pity parties. 

5.  Avoid all office gossip.  For real.  For real.  Run away like Usain Bolt when folks start talking.  When stuff starts to hit the fan around the office, you don’t want your name attached to any mess or messiness.  You hear folks talking?  Keep it moving.

6.  Stay away from the office “Becky” or “Jeff”.  Who are Becky and Jeff, you ask?  They are the backstabbers.  They are the smile-in-your-face but talk-behind-your-back and throw-you-under-the-bus coworkers.  They are the insecure ones who are always figuratively (and sometimes literally) shouting “look at me!” and reminding folks every chance they get how they worked hard to make their way up the ladder.  They are also the same ones in the corner pouting when others in the office are getting some shine.  They hate when you call them out for being wrong or messy, and they throw a loud temper tantrum about it until you ask them to repeat themselves.  Then, all of a sudden, they are church mouse quiet.  Every office has a “Becky” or a “Jeff”.  If they speak to you, be cordial and say “hello”, but keep it moving.  Becky and Jeff are not to be trusted.  Disclaimer – These are generic names that I randomly chose, so don’t go getting all in your feelings if your name happens to be Becky or Jeff … unless, of course, YOU are your office’s Becky or Jeff (lol).

7.  Your coworkers are not your friends, so keep your private life private.  Seriously, keep your work life and private life separate.  The workplace can be cut-throat at times.  Don’t share your personal business with people that aren’t in your inner circle.  Your coworkers don’t need to know you like that, and you don’t need them knowing anything they could possibly use against you later.  Be careful when choosing which coworkers to connect with on social media sites.  To be safe, don’t connect with them at all.

Follow these rules to help eliminate workplace drama and stress and to attempt to create a more productive work environment.  Give ‘em a try!

Damn, Sammy! : The New Look Ain't A Good One

Sammy Sosa (sigh).  Where to start?

I’m sure by now, many of you have seen a new picture of Sammy Sosa that emerged last week.  If you will recall a few years ago, Sammy Sosa bleached his skin.  He went from being creamy caramel brown to a pasty vanilla.  The newest picture of him went viral last week, and he kinda looks like strawberry Nesquik to me.  I’m still not sure if that was really his skin color or if it was the pink shirt and hat he was wearing in the picture that gave him a pink glow.

Either way, he looks ridiculous.

I will admit that I laughed so hard at times that I laughed myself to tears at all the memes of Sammy Sosa that appeared on social media last week, especially on Black Twitter.  Some of those memes?  Straight comedy, y’all (lol).  Straight comedy.

But after the laughter subsided, a feeling came over me that I cannot accurately describe.  I’m not sure if it was sadness.  Disbelief?  Maybe.  Perhaps it was pity.

Look … when I was growing up, I was teased and picked on a lot for being dark-skinned.  I was called ugly and unattractive by kids my age and by some "adults".  It was hard not to internalize those insults people constantly hurled at me. As if those coming-of-age years aren’t already awkward enough, and then adding to that the low self-esteem I had because of things people would say about and to me every day.  Every single day.

Looking back, perhaps it was just the ass-backward town I grew up in because when I went to Florida every summer to visit my Mama’s family, when I went to summer camps, when I went away to the South Carolina Governor’s School for Science and Math my junior and senior years of high school, when I went away to college, and when I moved away from home and started living on my own, everything was different and people treated me differently.  All those years of being made to feel less than because of my skin tone took a toll because I initially felt suspicious of anyone who gave me real compliments.  Instead of “You’re pretty for a dark girl”, I started to hear “You’re pretty.”  Period.

It took a long time to undo all the damage of all those hurtful words from my childhood and to claim and embrace my Beautiful Black Queen status.

So in a crazy kind of way, I get it.  I understand how words can cut so deeply that they leave lasting scars on your psyche.  But even after enduring years of backhanded compliments, teasing, and insults, I never thought of bleaching my skin, and I never wanted to be white.  THAT part, I don’t get and can’t understand.

In a previous interview on the subject of Sosa lightening his skin, he said, “It’s a bleaching cream that I apply before going to bed and whitens my skin some.  It’s a cream that I have, that I use to soften [my skin], but has bleached me some. I’m not a racist, I live my life happily.” 

So this new Sammy Sosa?  I don’t know if I want to give him a hug or smack him upside the head and ask him what the hell is he thinking.  I guess it all boils down to doing whatever it is you need to do to feel better about yourself.  But when feeling better about yourself involves drastically changing your natural skin color and becoming a totally different person, that’s just sad.

Extremely sad.

I Love My Locs ... But Not Your Assumptions

The last relaxer I put in my hair was way back in 1999.  At the time, I didn’t make an intentional decision to wear my hair natural.  I wanted to rock micro-braids, and my hairstylist advised I would have better results with the braids if my hair wasn’t chemically treated.  I wore my hair in braids and twists for a few years.  Before I knew it, I had a head full of natural hair and an afro reminiscent of the one Angela Davis rocked back in the day.  It was fierce!!!

Even though I wore my hair in braids and twists for years, I was always attracted to locs.  Locs are and have always been simply beautiful to me.  And if they are well-maintained (because we all know some folks don’t always regularly maintain their locs), I feel they look so stately and regal.  When I was pregnant with my son back in 2003, I decided to bite the bullet and loc my hair.  It was the best hair decision I have ever made.

Pipe cleaner curls

This October, I will be celebrating my 14^th year of wearing my hair in locs.  My loc-aversary, if you will.  What I have found over these many years is that because I have locs, people make certain assumptions either about me or my hair.

Curled locs

I wear my hair in locs, so I must be from Jamaica.  You read that right.  You would be amazed how many times I have been asked if I was from Jamaica.  If by Jamaica you mean my hometown of Anderson, South Carolina, then sure.  I’m Jamaican.  Hey, mon!!

I wear my hair in locs, so I must smoke weed.  I do not nor have I ever smoked weed, and I didn’t realize how many people really think weed-smoking is a prerequisite for wearing your hair in locs.  Go figure.

I wear my hair in locs, so I don’t wash my hair.  Here’s a newsflash.  My locs?  Hair.  The hair is uncombed, not unwashed.  So … I use shampoo and water just like everybody else.

I wear my hair in locs, so I have a criminal record.  Excuse me.  What the hell kind of assumption is that?  I am college educated and gainfully employed.  I don’t have a criminal record.  I’ve never been in jail.  I mean … really?!?!?  The fact that someone would equate locs with criminality does make me want to smack ‘em upside the head, so I guess a record could be in my future (lol).

I wear my hair in dreadlocks, so … lemme stop you right there.  I despise the term “dreadlocks” because there is NOTHING dreadful about my hair.  Unless you want to die by my killer side-eye, don’t ever use “dreadlocks” around me.

I wear my hair in locs, so it’s okay for you to touch them.  Let me clear this up for you real quick.  DO NOT TOUCH MY HAIR!!!!  Nothing annoys me like someone who assumes it’s okay for them to put their hands on me or my hair.  First of all, don’t invade my personal space.  Secondly, it’s hair.  Get over it.  Thirdly, everybody’s hygiene ain’t the same, and I have no idea where your hands have been.  Please keep them out of my hair.  I don’t want your hair or spirit all over me.  I am not a pet, so don’t try to stroke my hair for your entertainment. 

I wear my hair in locs, so that means I will loc my kids’ hair, too.  No.  That’s incorrect.  I will never forget that when my now 13 year-old son was an infant, one of the ladies at his daycare asked me with her face all torn up and her nose stuck in the air, “You’re not going to put the baby’s hair in ‘those things’, are you?”  I remember my response being something along the lines of, “And if I did, what does it matter to you?  Do you have a problem with my hair?”  She apologized after picking her face off the floor.  But, as much as I love my hair, the decision to make the commitment to locs is a personal one.  If you see my kids with loc’d hair, it’s because they made the choice to do so themselves.  I’m not making that decision for them.

I often hear from folks that they are surprised at how versatile my hair is.  Chile, don’t hate me because my hair is beautiful (lol).  The styles I have had over the years with my locs are endless.  People are constantly amazed with them all.  Honestly, I’m amazed myself.  My hairstylist NEVER disappoints and keeps my locs looking their absolute best.

Two-strand twists in a bun with a wrapped loc bang.

My locs are wrapped around pipe cleaners.

Wrapped locs.

Loops and chains.

And really, folks.  After a photo that went viral recently on social media, we can no longer make ANY assumptions about people with locs.  Did you see this photo … of a Ku Klux Klan member at a rally … wearing his hair in locs?  A Klan member (ie. a racist, a white supremacist, a hater of all things Black) … with LOCS, y’all!!!  Da hell?!?!?

I am reminded of the lyrics to India.Arie’s hit and will close with them …

I am not my hair.
I am not this skin.
I am not your expectations.  No.
I am not my hair.
I am not this skin.
I am the soul that lives within.

Shout out to Glenda Jones of Sincerely Yours Salon in Durham, NC.  She keeps my hair looking FLY!!!