My daughter Sydney is only 14 months old. Every since I discovered I was pregnant with her, I have reflected on the lessons I feel are important to teach her. In my next few blog entries, I will attempt to outline those things I think my baby girl needs to know and understand.
YOU are beautiful. YOU are valuable. YOU are amazing. I know. This kinda sounds like that line from "The Help" movie ... "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." These are affirmations my daughter will hear from me, her father, and her brother and will hopefully repeat to herself on a daily basis. I not only want her to hear the words. I want her to feel these words and to know they are true.
A few months ago, I had an interesting exchange with someone who wanted to know why I identify myself as a Black woman instead of just a woman. She told me I was "damaged" from my past experiences, and she hoped I wouldn't pass that damage on to my children. I guess I was just too Black for her. Initially, I tried to explain why I feel the way I do and why certain things have shaped me and are important to me. Then I realized ... why try to explain something to someone who can't begin to understand what it's like to be a Black woman in America?
I will make no apologies for instilling in my daughter an awareness and proudness of her Black heritage. Time and time again, we are constantly bombarded with negative images of Black women in the media. Isn't it interesting when a Black woman voices her concerns, opinions, or displeasure over something, she's described as an angry Black woman? While I love Lupita Nyong'o and celebrated her amazing rise to the spotlight, why aren't there more actresses in Hollywood that look like her? Why are the majority of Black women on television portrayed in not-so-flattering roles (ie. the weave-wearing, neck-and-eye-rolling, and fight-starting reality star or the sleeping with a married man / no self-respect-having single woman)? Is it just me or does anyone else miss seeing Clair Huxtable on television?
In a society that devalues our women, it is my responsibility as a mother to empower my daughter and equip her with the necessary tools she will use the rest of her life. So I will teach her to love and appreciate her chocolate skin, her natural hair, her lips, her body ... everything that makes her her beautiful brown self. I will teach her that she is valuable and that her thoughts, voice, opinions, and actions are important and matter. I will teach her not to allow anyone or anything make her feel less than. I will teach her to look at her herself and love the person she sees looking back at her.
I'm starting her early. She is read age-appropriate books and stories about her Black heritage. She has Princess Tiana and Doc McStuffins dolls in heavy rotation during her playtime. I've got my complete box sets of "The Cosby Show" and "A Diff'rent World" ready for her when she's older. She will know, love, and understand all that makes her beautiful, valuable, and amazing.
This was well stated Andrea. I think you are doing an excellent job in instilling in your children the importance of embracing their heritage. Keep doing what you are doing and they will thank you when they are old enough to do so!
ReplyDelete~~~Fredericka
this is really an awesome read. I'm excited to read more, I'm so proud of you for doing this
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