1. We need to stop begging people to be in our lives, cut our losses, and let them go. Here's an example. You invite folks over or ask them to hang out with you. They can never find time for you in their busy schedules, but you turn around and see them in pictures on Facebook living it up and traveling with other people. We all make time for the people and things we want to make time for. So if you are not figured into other people's equations, take the hint. Maya Angelou once said, to paraphrase, believe people when they show you who they are. Instead of chasing after folks who see you only as an option, concentrate and love on the folks who are always there for you.
2. We need to stop expecting folks to feel and act like we do. I'm preaching to myself here. One of my biggest faults is that I have a big heart, and I am always disappointed by folks because I expect them to feel, act, and do like I would. BIG MISTAKE!!!! If you don't want to be constantly disappointed, then don't expect anything from anyone. This has been a hard lesson to learn, but it's a necessary one.
3. We need to stop neglecting ourselves. Repeat after me ... SELF-CARE. It seems as if we are always looking after and taking care of other people. We need to remember to take care of ourselves. Exercise. Eat right. Meditate. Send time by ourselves. Make time to read. Get massages. Go to the movies. Get some rest. Learn to say "no". Whatever you need to do to recharge and refresh yourself, do it ... often and regularly and not just when you are at your wit's end.
4. We need to stop neglecting our dreams. You've always wanted to start a business? What's stopping you? Remove those roadblocks and go for it. Life got in the way, and you weren't able to go back to school? Make the time. Life is too short to live it with regrets and "what ifs". Live your best life and do what you can to make your dreams come true. Start your business. Go back to school. Book that trip. Just do it!!!
5. We need to stop talking about racism, trying to explain our struggles about living as Black folks in America, and trying to explain why Black lives matter to folks who either can't understand or are so comfortable in their privilege that they ain't trying to understand. For real. If this country's history of slavery, Jim Crow, police brutality on black and brown bodies, mass incarceration, and an unfair criminal justice system ain't enough to make people understand how there's been a generational effect on Black folks, nothing you can say will change their minds, either. Don't waste your time, breath, or energy. Don't even engage.
Happy 2018! Here's to living your best life!
