Monday, October 13, 2014

Where Are The Brothers In Baseball?

(Photo by Skip Foreman)
 



 
My son has fallen in love with baseball.  It ain't puppy love, either.  He's head over heels in love with the game.  While he's played other sports (football, soccer, and basketball), he has really excelled at his play and passion for the game.  He played baseball for the first time in the spring of 2013.  This year, my son has played on spring, summer, and fall league teams. 
 
 
My husband and I vowed to nurture any interests our children exhibit, so we're all in, too.  My husband has coached some of our son's teams.  I'm on the sidelines at every game with my "baseball mom" t-shirts and a speaker attached to my iPhone to play music to stir the crowd.  Yeah, I'm THAT mom.  (lol)
 
 
I have noticed something since my son has started playing on little league teams and watching major league baseball on television.  I didn't see many people who looked like my son playing the game.  Where are the brothers?  Where are the Black boys on little league teams?  Where are the Black men in MLB dugouts? 
 
 
My father was a big baseball fan, and because he watched baseball, I watched more than my fair share of baseball games growing up.  In fact, I watched so much baseball that I promised myself when I grew up, I would NEVER watch another baseball game.  I know Daddy is looking down on us from Heaven, cheering his grandson on and laughing hysterically at me as I watch a game I swore off as a kid.  (lol)
 
I remember teams.  I remember players.  I remember getting Willie Stargell's autograph once when my mom, sister, and I spotted him at the mall in my hometown ... and being excited after meeting him and getting the autograph.  It seems to me there were just more Black men playing major league baseball then than there are now.  Why is that? 
 
To satisfy my curious mind, I did a little research and read quite a bit on this sad truth.  Less than 10% of the players in major league baseball are Black.  Less than 10%.  By some accounts, the percentage was more like 8.3 during the 2013 and 2014 MLB seasons.
 
My son was the only Black player on the very first little league team he played on.  In the summer of 2013, we sent my son to baseball camp at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.  There were 100 boys at that camp.  My son was one of three Black boys that attended.  3 Black boys out of 100.  Wow!
 
This year, the numbers increased slightly but not by much.  There were at least 2 other players on my son's spring and summer league teams.  This summer at baseball camp at UNC, there were 8 Black boys in attendance ... still out of 100, though.  My son's fall league team boasts 5 Black boys on the team.  After speaking with some of the other parents, I think the increase can be directly attributed to the success of the Jackie Robinson West team from Chicago that won this year's Little League World Series United States championship.

From my research (reading and just asking my circle of Black male friends and relatives), I've concluded two main reasons for the shrinking number of Black faces in baseball ... money and the popularity of other more widely accepted sports.  In just the year-and-a-half I've been a baseball mom, I am now more aware of the expense associated with having a child in the sport.  I will never forget my reaction when we went shopping when my son first signed up to play.  While there was a range of prices, a $300+ bat caught his eye.  My immediate reaction was like, "Damn!  For $300, you better hit a homerun every time you step up to the plate!"  I honestly had no idea.  (We didn't get that particular bat, by the way.)  Then there's the expense of buying shoes, gloves, helmets, pants, etc.  The money quickly adds up, and all that was incurred before he even stepped on the baseball diamond to play his first game.

As with anything, you get better with practice.  So, there's expense associated with trips to the batting cages.  And ... did you know there are coaches who offer one-on-one lessons?  I had no idea.  We've gotten letters and advertisements from coaches offering lessons on batting, pitching, catching, and defensive skills, and the lessons are not cheap.  Again, I had no idea.

And for the really serious players, there are travel teams young baseball players can join.  I was talking to a parent a few weeks ago and was floored when he told me the money he and his wife spent to have his son travel with a league this past summer.  He estimates that he and his wife spent well over $3500.  They aren't wealthy people, either.  He was telling me that he and his wife took on overtime at their jobs or got a part-time job to help with the expenses.  His church held fundraisers (several fish fries and raffles).  They set up a GoFundMe page.  This father told me it's a sacrifice they are willing to make because of the exposure that being on such a team gives the aspiring player.

It is becoming increasingly clear.  To get ahead in baseball and get in a position to be seen by the right people takes a big sacrifice of time and money.  I can definitely understand how that could prove to be a huge obstacle in getting more Black boys started in baseball, especially when one can play another sport for considerably less money.

Besides the money involved, baseball's popularity just isn't like that of football or basketball, and I found that to be especially true in my own unscientific poll of my friends and relatives.  I'm being completely honest here.  Before my son started playing and following baseball, I couldn't name one single MLB player (besides Derek Jeter) who currently plays the game.  Not one.  I could, however, rattle off the names of scores of football and basketball players.

Are football and basketball sexier than baseball?  Maybe.  Faster paced?  Seemingly, yes.  Wildly popular?  Most definitely.  I am hoping baseball can someday get to be as popular in the Black community as football and basketball.  It's going to take some time, and we definitely need to make the effort to bring baseball to our boys.  What a joy it was to see the Jackie Robinson West team excel in the Little League World Series this summer.  I hope their outstanding achievements will spark a renewed interest in the sport amongst our young Black boys.

Randal definitely has his village supporting him.  Whenever he tells people how much he loves baseball, it's always the same reaction.  In some way or another, he's told, "Stick with it, young man.  You can have a long career in that game, and there aren't many of us playing.  It would be great to see you playing professionally one day."  Yes, it sure would ... and I hope to see other Black boys playing baseball, too.

 


Friday, October 3, 2014

Do You Know What Today Is? It's Our Anniversary!


Today I celebrate my 16th wedding and 22nd couple anniversaries with my husband.  Where in the world did the time go?  Seems like just yesterday he asked me to dance at a party on campus.  :-)

I'm attaching an article I wrote for "EmergeNC "online magazine that was published in April 2013 on how my husband and I make our marriage work.

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I met my husband in college.  We met at Wake Forest University (GO DEACS!!)  in the early 1990s.  We started dating on October 3, 1992, and we’ve been inseparable ever since.  We were married six years later on October 3, 1998.  This year, we’ll be celebrating our fifteenth and twenty-first anniversaries respectively.  That’s a long damn time, y’all.  A long damn time.

We are asked quite often how we do it.  How have we managed to stay together all these years …   through the ups and downs, the health scares, the birth of our son, the deaths of loved ones, the loss of jobs, the start of businesses, through any and everything?

Well, that’s a good question.  While we have many married friends, we also have many friends whose marriages didn’t survive.  So I’ve thought about it … about how we could answer those folks who question why we are still together, who look to us for a tidbit of advice, and who look for something to take back and apply to their own relationships.  Here’s what I’ve determined.

1      We’re both just stubborn as hell.  Stubborn may not be a characteristic you would think would work in a marriage, but it works for us.  We made a promise to each other.  We are in this thing for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer.  We in it to win it, dog gonnit.  Sure, we have our problems.  Of course, we don’t always agree on issues.  I love my husband dearly and I know he loves me, but there are times when he wears on my nerves, and I know for a fact I can wear on his.  But we made a commitment to each other, and we meant it.  Period.  That means whatever our issues are, we’re going to work ‘em out.  It can get uncomfortable.  Sometimes feelings or pride can get hurt, but we look at it like this.  It’s much better to deal with our problems head-on than to let lawyers and judges decide the fate of our lives.  Divorce is not an option for us.

2      If all else fails, we have our faith to fall back on.  My husband is the son of a preacher man, and I grew up in a home with a strong religious background.  We both grew up in the church.  While we haven’t always been as faithful to God as He’s been to us, we know where our help comes from.  We pray for each other, our relationship, and our family.  We worship together.  We read His word.  There’s some good relationship advice in the Bible, y’all.  Check it out, and make God a part of your married life.

3      We have to make the effort to find “couple time”.  Our lives are hectic.  We have a 9-year-old son whose social and extra-curricular calendars keep us on the move.  We are expecting our second child this June, so we’ve been spending lots of time lately preparing for her arrival.  My husband and I both work full-time jobs, but we also own our own businesses.  Our parents are aging and have had their share of medical issues over the recent years, and we have to make time for them.  The list goes on and on.  There are so many things that will keep us apart if we allow them to, but we simply don’t.  We’ve found that if we don’t make the time just for us, it can get a little tense back at the house.  My husband and I have a lot of the same interests.  We love music and concerts, we love dining out, and we love going to the movies.  While we may not go out together as often as we would like, when we feel things getting away from us, we call up our babysitter and go on a date night.  We make time just for us.  It keeps us connected, it helps focused on us, and it keeps peace in our home.

4      We also make time for ourselves as individuals.  Again, I love my husband and I know he loves me.  But let’s face it … we can’t be up under each other all the time.  We’d drive each other crazy.  It’s okay.  Really.  It’s okay to do things without your spouse.  Every year twice a year, my husband gets together with some of his hometown or college buddies for a weekend away.  Likewise, there are times when I have girls’ night out or weekend get-aways with my crew.  We come back home refreshed.  We’ve also found that we come back to someone who missed us.  It’s true what they say.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

5    Let’s talk about sex for a minute, y’all.  Do it … regularly and frequently.  No excuses.  No faked headaches.  No “lemme take a nap first”.  JUST DO IT.  You’d be surprised how those tense moments can become all but forgotten after a good healthy round of lovemaking.  In the words of Forrest Gump, “That’s all I have to say about that.”

I think we’re going to make it.  Bottom line … happily ever after is exactly what you make it.  Plain and simple.  Marriage is hard work, and you have to have your mind made up even before you say “I do” that you will do the work.  You WILL put in the work to make your happily ever after a reality.  You WILL commit yourself to working with and loving your mate for a lifetime.  You WILL work to keep and hold those vows you take before God as sacred. You WILL work on making your marriage WORK.  Failure is not an option.



Thursday, October 2, 2014

Lessons For My Baby Girl - Part Two : Be Confident. Pursue Your Dreams And Passions. Take Risks.


I just love the picture that's attached to this blog entry.  It's a photo of my then 15-month-old daughter "reading" the Sports Illustrated magazine that featured America's newest sweetheart, baseball little league player Mo'Ne Davis, on its cover.  At the tender age of 13, Mo'Ne has shown so much poise, confidence, and POWER that you just can't help but love her.  What an inspiration Mo'Ne is, and what a shining example she's set for little girls across the nation and the world.

I am continuing with the theme of lessons for my baby girl.  It is my prayer that I instill in her the importance of being confident and bold in spirit.  I want her to pursue her passions no matter how big or small they are.  I don't want her to be afraid to take risks.  And ... I never want her to play the role of damsel in distress.  I want her to be creative and solve her own problems without relying on others to fix them for her.

Even though she's only a toddler, my daughter already has a boldness about her that I absolutely love seeing in action.  Watching her explore the world around her is fascinating.  Watching her learn things on her own is so much fun to watch.  She has no fear.  She has learned to express her pleasure over things and also how to let me (and her father and big brother) know when she is not happy or pleased.  She continues on her way or on her mission until she reaches her desired destination or result.  I don't want her to lose that.  As her mother, I want to do whatever I can to encourage her to be bold and daring and confident in whatever she sets her mind to do.

She will need that bold confidence to pursue her passions.  Yes, Sydney is just a toddler, and she has many years of self-discovery ahead of her.  But whenever she finds her niche, whenever she finds that thing or things that she will become passionate about, whenever she decides for herself what dream or dreams she wants to pursue, I want her to go after them with everything she's got.  There may be obstacles and naysayers who will try to discourage her.  I want her to be big, bad, and bold enough to bulldoze right through those roadblocks and right into her dreams.

Pursuing dreams may also involve having to take some risks.  I want to teach her that it's okay to take risks.  If the choice is between taking a risk or living with regret, then why not take the risk?  I want her to know she may fail, and that's okay.  Losing one battle is not losing the war if you keep going, working, and pushing yourself until you've reached your goal.  Fear of failure keeps plenty of folks from achieving their dreams.  I want my baby girl to keep  that "no fear" resolve she already has in her right now.  If you experience a defeat, get up, dust yourself off, and get back to work.  One of the best feelings in the world is accomplishing something you set your heart and mind to do. 

I will teach my baby girl not to play the victim or the damsel in distress.  That whole victim / damsel in distress thing?  Yeah, that's a really big pet peeve of mine.  Admittedly, as a mother, when I see my child struggling with something, I want to swoop down and rescue them and kiss them and make things all better.  My son is 10, and there have been plenty of times with him that I had to stop myself from coming into a situation and making things better or easy for him.  Let me explain that.  Of course, if my son or daughter is in harm's way, then you better get out of my way because I will step in to save them.  But when it comes to doing their own work, when it comes to butting in and handling a problem for them that they are perfectly capable of handling on their own, then I'm going to let them do it for themselves.  How will my children learn independence, problem-solving skills, or to be creative in their thinking if their Mama is always there making things right for them?  They will learn their actions have consequences ... good or bad.  My baby girl will not be a coddled princess.  She will come to know that good old fashioned hard work and common sense can go a long way.

Geez!  My list of lessons for my baby girl just keeps getting longer and longer.  (lol)  Stay tuned for another entry.